Adult Novelty Aficionado Gifts

'Firstly Madame, the Green Grocer is across the road and secondly that should explain why your 'bananas' are vibrating...!'

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

The Rubber Ball Company

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

"I suppose you think that's funny."

'I can change! I swear!'

'Now what?!'

'We have a tour every hour, on the hour, Sir...'

'OK, it's a deal. You take my baths for me and I'll buy you some new toys.'

'Talk about stuck-up! -- he has Masterpiece Theatre action figures!'

'Please enter your pin now.'

It's more than a mike!

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

Odd Spas

'It even tells time in metric minutes.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

LEGO profits.

"I got it in a novelty shop. But it has decreased loitering around the watercooler with 29%!"

Pam collected ceramic pigs. Just one so far, but even that seemed like too many.

Doll line: Quality Control - Too Creepy.

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

Thinks Bob: At last, the most practical house pet since the goldfish.

'As I understand it, he has a whole other workshop in Hong Kong where they make all that electronic stuff.'

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

"Hodgekins... you're like the annoying son I never had."

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

'I did say we were going to give you transport...I didn't say what sort!'

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

How to injury yourself as an adult