Adoption Cheerleader Pillows

"We just think he might be a bit on the old side for his new brothers and sisters."

Inclusive speech

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"I'm sorry but we do not promote just for participation."

'Thank goodness for family. Today my sales included two aunts, three cousins, and my mother and father.'

"I went through hell to get them adopted."

'They're all hoping Kate Middleton will help them to cross the road.'

"Some puppies get bored when they're alone, but my family left me enough chew toys to last all day."

There's a special little jog people do when they've just left a job interview that they think went really well.

"Way to go, guys! When I gave you that pep talk before the game I didn't actually think you'd score a goal!"

Apparently Barking Rovers have won the cup.

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

'Don't take it too hard, Dad, Mr. Hodes down the street is just having a great year.'

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'Hello, Mom? ... I got the job!'

"How long has your brother been in Iraq, Nora?"

'Congratulations, it's a boy!'

"Sometimes, God deserves a standing ovation."

"When did we stop saying 'amen' and start giving the 'wave'?"

'The good news is, there's room for improvement.'

"I'm sorry, but this is a capital campaign."

'Get back to your seat, Mom. I can handle this.'

"Your depression isn't caused by anything physical. I suggest you root for another pro sports team."

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

Drink?

Meet the new beach bod, same as the old beach bod.

Old people sign - Whatever

'She passed potty training!'

First Katrina, then oil spills. What's next, a plague of locusts?

"I wouldn't worry too much. She blitzed the field in the three legged race."