Addiction Counselor Gifts

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

"They took my pellets, man, I been hitting' that lever al day, they took my PELLETS!"

'Welcome James. Are you ready to kick some butt?'

'THere are two treatment options: Nicotine Gum to get off the patch, or the patch to get off nicotine gum.'

"Gee, it looks like you're addicted to the same opioids I'm addicted to."

Sniffing drugs

'Everyone left early again. I really don't think BAR graphs are the best visual display for our target audience.'

Employees at Stop smoking help line centre

"Should we give her some Narcan?"

"Of course they're not habit forming, and I should know - I've been taking them for twenty years,"

Opioid Epidemic

Addiction Counselor Eddy on his way home....

"I'm glad you're trying to quit smoking Dr. Jekyll, but the withdrawal symptoms turn you into a completely different person!"

'Yes, this is step nine of your twelve-step program.'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

'I guarantee THIS nicotine patch will work!'

'Gentlemen be warned, it's a slippery slope, I started off as an occasional beige cardigan wearer...!!'

"The longer we can keep them gambling, the more they lose."

'Why do you keep coming in half drunk after lunch?'

Man covered in patches - "That's the worst smoking habit I've ever seen."

Don't you think you've had too many drinks?

Bear who goes drinking instead of hibernating

Gamblers' Anonymous - 'We've taken on 5 new members of staff.'

It had been a long, hard climb, but Bob was finally going to rub elbows with the stars.

"Patients kept saying, 'You don't understand. You never smoked.' So, I tried and now I can't stop."

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Screen Time vs Book Time

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

"Each order comes with 10 minutes of free guilt counseling."

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"You're completely screwed up."