Addiction Analyzer Gifts

"You've come a long way, baby."

"You're going to have to submit to peer review eventually, Bradshaw!"

Screen Time vs Book Time

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

Yesterday I had an argument with the janitor of my building, and then last night I dreamed that he was chasing me with a large ball-peen hammer

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

'Listen, Geoffrey ...I know you're a clinical psychologist, but I DON'T have A.D.D. ! You're just incredibly boring.'

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

"Last week, when I was telling you about my Lou Ferrigno dream, were you fighting off a yawn? Do you go to therapy? What would you do if I touched your ear? Yes or no—am I insane?"

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

Road Guilt

"My religion is about love and tolerance! Got that, you stupid son of a bitch!?!

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

"Of course, you understand you can't possibly stay here tonight."

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

'I've decided to narrate my own like in the third person today', he said - 'Oh, God. Not this again', she uttered plaintively. - 'Shut. Up.', she bellowed threatiningly at the fleeing man.

Lack of Nutrition Information

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'

"I'm feeling great but I'm worried that that might just be a symptom!"

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

'Tell me more about your premonition of impending dom, Mr Syms...'

Shrink to criminal - 'At what age did you lose your innocence?'

'I was dating a weatherman, but he had this annoying habit of always talking up a storm.'

"We can now tell the rest of the mice that after testing on lab humans, phones can be an addictive time waster."

"He never closes the door when he leaves, which is strange because he hates when I leave a tab open."

'It seems that he was too optimistic. His glass of water wasn't half full. Obviously, it was completely empty.'

'We're looking for someone who has enormous confidence during the day and who wakes up worried sick at night.'

'Sometimes she's like a wave, sometimes she's like a particle.'