Instinct Analyzer Gifts

Higher Instincts/Middling Instincts/Baser Instincts.

The Adrenal Gland Answers Your Questions

The Smell of Fear

"I think I see a miscreant in the carpark. There's no time to call the police I must deal with it myself."

See that leg? He's dreaming of chasing rabbits.

"Yes, I am interested in taking a fresh look at my holdings."

"Your IQ came back negative."

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Confirmation Bias

'Look! Man has been here!' 'Yeah, it must have been a man because the seat was left up.'

"I knew there was something wrong when he stopped reading the obituaries."

Give me a child at seven and I will show you the MAN!

'We now have the technology to record your dreams. From now on, your dreams are our intellectual property.'

"I could have gotten to the top . . . but I wasted all my time in the park."

'You're docile enough alright, but I don't like how you grind your teeth while you sleep!'

'Now don't forget what I told you - no touching!'

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

Last night I dreamed I was lying on a beach with Sandra Dee, and a big lifeguard asked to see my beach tag. I didn

'Last night I dreamt in widescreen and colour, with director's commentary and added extras.'

'There are bankers under my bed.'

Sigmund Freud.

"Because you always do that with your fingers."

I can't decide if your recurring dream about the Hindenburg indicates a preoccupation with death or phallic symbols. I was hoping it just indicted a preoccupation with hydrogen-filled zeppelins.

'Mr. Scrooge, I think we should talk a bit more about this dream you had...'

'The problem is I can't tell the difference between a deeply wise, intuitive nudge from the Universe and one of my own bone-headed ideas!'

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Job Interview, "This company wants a person who is both ruthless and intelligent but who is also too dumb to want to try for my job."

"You did very well on your I.Q. test. You're a man of 49 with the intelligence of a man of 53."

'As soon as she's out zap her with the brain probe!'

"I've just had the most horrible dream!"

'It's a common hibernation nightmare, You wake up lying next to Ted Nugent,'

Psychiatrist catches patient's hallucination.

"And do you, Robert, mind if I smoke?"

'Sister Agatha you're flirting with another bad habit,'