Adage Appreciator Pillows

Cliffhangers

'I followed the old Wall Street adage and 'sold in May and went away.' That was in '74. Too bad there's no return adage.'

"Who's got the hammer?"

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"We have an acronym!"

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Steamed vegetables."

Meat Grinder

Don Quixote is Caged (Don Quixote).

'Oh Hi!'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

You are my sunshine!

"We didn't want to know the gender in advance."

'The boss said I never made any profits and I never found customers worth mentioning and that's why he promoted me to the company's chief bad example!'

'This one is for serving 27 years in the military without anyone finding out I'm gay.'

The Greek Trampoline

Laughing Zone Ahead

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Russia Money Laundering

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Amateurs."

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Snowyphus

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"The wine has subtle hints of expensive pretension, but it's balanced nicely by the screw cap."