Ad Bashers Gifts

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"These targeted ads are getting out of hand."

'But what do you sell?'

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

'There's more information available now than ever before. I can only block out so much of it.'

New diet. Look. 1,000,000 visitor. Buy. EOA. Survey. Tired of . Eye test for internet users.

'I prefer Brand X myself.'

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

Dream Advertisements.

"I did a quick search for my lost requirements documents and I found them right away, but how do I get rid of the ads now?"

He said his first words today --- "Side effects".

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

"Stop trying to close all the popup windows, John... just come to bed!"

'We're just not reaching the group between young marrieds and senior citizens.'

'Our poll shows the typical advertising viewer is all 'targeted' out.'

Skip ad.

'I don't want to read 'Great Books'. Too much pressure.'

Next advert in 2 seconds...

"I remember when walls weren't so bossy."

"All these ads keep popping up for the stores in the shopping center. Maybe I should run a scan for mallware."

'After sixteen commercials I've forgotten what film we were watching.'

"How come in your TV adverts you're giving out loans left, right and centre?!"

'Yes I know our commercial said no salesman would call... we lied.'

Happening Now

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!! And on the 4th day of January, 1973, God kicked himself for creating the inventor of the pop-up ad."

"Truth in advertising...or more small talk?"

'Well, I never go anywhere, American Express -- How does that grab you?'

'Hey, here's a good deal! If we buy something, they'll stop sending catalogs for a week!'

Attack of the 'Lose that Belly Fat' Popup Ad.

TV: 'The following program is rated 'G', with parental discretion advised for the commercials.'

"...No, he can't really fly...No, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

'I know you hate commercials, but must you surf for them just so you can mute them?'

"Look! Jacko's is putting lowriders in their hamburger commercials!"

"If they didn't show commercials, people wouldn't know what to buy."