Action-packed Humor Gifts

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'You lifted your head.'

The Wine Bottle and the Corkscrew

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

May all your birthday wishes come true..

Man sitting on bank with pulling up fishing with sign from fish attached to hook: Gone fishin'.

"Krill, baby, krill."

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

And overcoming their resistance by sheer skill.

'How now, brown cow?'

"You know very well what fish!"

'He did it for us.'

"It's been over for a while now. I caught him trying to fertilize some catfish eggs in June."

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"Wait, you mean to tell me they sometimes catch and then don't release?"

"Do you know what time they open love?"

"I said 'blow job' not 'blow chunks'."

Menace.

Adult Magician

'I just had to come over...You caught my eye.'

"Hello? Beasts of the Field? This is Lou, over in Birds of the Air. Anything funny going on at your end?"

'When I hit the wall, I want to be ready.'

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

I've heard of on-line banking, but I think this may be the first ever attempt at an armed, on-line bank robbery!"

"Oh you had to cross the cattle grid, didn't you?!"

"Wow, that was some fart!"

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

...Mr.Colman is busy right now - he's burning some books.

"Ooooohhh, now that's what I call a piercing."

"Have you a cabernet that will pair well with dysfunction?"

Uniporn

Catburglar's anonymous. Sign saying 'door not in use'.

'The least of your worries in this school is a bully will take your lunch money.'

Dental records help ID the body. That's how they know who to bill.