Acquisition Manager T-Shirts

'He works in Acquisitions.'

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

"What's wrong with swallowing up other companies?"

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

Fish and color

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company."

'I understand they specialize in acquisitions.'

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"So far it doesn't look like a hostile takeover."

'I'm feeling absolutely marvelous. I think I'll acquire another company.'

"I believe he was the victim of a hostile takeover."

"It's strictly business. Please don't take your financial ruin personally."

'There's a gentleman out here with $643 million. He would like to discuss a takeover.'

'I believe in aggressive mergers, Celia.'

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

Cafe investors: I'd like your support in acquiring the lemonade stand down the street. By cutting redundant labor, marketing and technology. I place our annual savings at $17 billion. The phone company investors bought it. Can monkey lick your head?

"I gotta admit, he's one hell of a negotiator."

How Many It Takes

'It's okay if don't want to give us control of your company. We're perfectly capable of living with incredible disappointment.'

'A hostile takeover just wasn't feasible, so we agreed to a hostile merger.'

Tata: Goodbuy or Goodbye?

"And do you have any OTHER skills you can bring to the post apart from being able to burp the Beatles greatest hits?"

Okay, let's see...who's on tap to update our progress with that hostile takeover?

'Could you be more specific than a king's ransom or an arm and a leg.'

No - None sense, take-charge, inc. - Formerly: Happy-go-lucky, inc.'

'Maybe we should have been a bit more specific in the ad...'

"I was able to negotiate it from a hostile takeover to an uneasy alliance."

'High five Sir? We usually seal the deal with a handshake.'

'You may have three mergers.'

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'