Accountability Dodger Pillows

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

Scapegoat of the Year

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"I can't get used to being a grownup."

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"When it comes to medical malpractice, most lawyers only go for the money... ...I go for the doctor's head."

Under new blame.

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Working in a blame culture?

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Homework flavored dog food

'Whatever you do, don't tell them you think you're ready to take on more responsibility!'

'It's been a pretty slow day -- What say we knock off a couple hours early?'

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."

'So, who's first?'

"With great power comes zero responsibility."

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

It's an I-O-Ewe.