Audit Dodger Pillows

'Survived the audit'

Tax grab.

'We are in a race against time and the auditors. Gentlemen...start your shredders!'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Scapegoat of the Year

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

Counting dollars

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

The IRS emptied my pouch.

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

Homework flavored dog food

IRS, 'It might make you feel better if you just think of it as a negative entitlement.'

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

'How do you expect the Government to bail you out of your financial crisis if you don't pay your taxes?'

"My dog ate my homework. Then the backup files were hacked by Russians."

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

Hear me, Graduates!

"All right, what's it going to take to make this homework go away?"

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

"We interrupt this program to bring you a special message from your teachers..."