Accidentally Bilingual Gifts

"This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian"

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"Milk, butter, bread - all past the expiration date. either he just hadn't noticed before, or his time machine worked."

Desert Island Mishap

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"Tongue twisters! These are hard to say! A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk."

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"I will not tolerate that language in this house. What is it,anyway - Latin?"

"Sorry, but that's a road racing bike. I'm a mountain bike specialist."

'He has a learning disorder.'

Then laughing aloud, seeming contento, he turned like a flash and was gone el viento.

"No you idiot! I said to get a brain, not bran cereal!"

'Roughly translated I believe you said 'Hello, Sailor' dear.'

'She says we never talk. But that's because she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Spanish.'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

"Can I spend night at Cruz's house? Por favor? Tu R's bst eva paps!"

"Stop worrying! It can't be THAT hard to learn Chinese - all the children speak it here!"

Jean Chrétien: I don't speak good English, but I French very well!

'We're thinking of settling down here -- do you folks have bilingual education?'

"It's the night of the bilingual telemarketers!"

'Writing a French test to keep my boring middle management government job? ...Not!'

'I didn't come to fall in. I came to fish.'

'I dink he boke by doze!' 'ENUNCIATE! 'I THINK he BROKE MY NOSE.'

'Like I told you: French is English spelt backwards!'

"Look, Baldo, there's no shame in forgetting your mother tongue."

"That's Phil...he's got a simple imprecation for everything."

'My husband hadn't kicked up his heels in 20 years, but he couldn't leave well enought alone.'

'Employment service? I asked for keypunchers, not cowpunchers!'

'Twas the Night before Christmas, and all through la casa, not a creature was stirring...oye, que pasa?

"I'm sorry, but I heard it as 'build a park'!"

Cubanisms in the Spanish language

"This is my way of forcing you guys to learn Spanish! Whoever breaks this rule cleans out the garage!"

"All the teacher's comments are in Spanish. She said there were no words in English to describe my work."