Accident-prone Planner Pillows

'Oops! Maybe I should've put this sign out a little earlier.'

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

First aid departments

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"The last thing I remember was asking my broker if all my money had been in risk-free bonds."

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

'I know just how you feel.'

For 29 years, Bert's strategy had been to reach retirement without making any waves,missteps or career-limiting moves. And it might have worked, too, if only he'd foreseen the fossilization risk.

'Before you begin, I'd like to thank you for coming in early to do this on such short notice.'

"If it's any consolation, the video went viral."

'While I'm here, Doctor . . .'

'Quick! Contact my doctor!'

'In our thirty years of marriage she's squirreled away loads of money, but she can't remember where.'

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

Fortune Telling: Retirement Planning.

"I started a new business. . ."

Water Ski Accident

Mulligan's first mulligan.

"Measure twice. Wipe once."

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Murphy and his brother 'sod' at work on their now famous law.

'Sidney's such a klutz. He broke his leg in three places -- Boston, Akron and Salt Lake City.'

'Hey, honey, remember when I told you to expect a big surprise on our anniversary? Well, I snuck off to go hunting with Cliff - SURPRISE!'

"Oh, that's Mr Norris. He's our risk analyst."

Don't do it, kid. Think. Think.

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

'He does it every year - we call it his winter break.'

"Next walk, we’re going to the park."

'Gardening mishap-the window boxes fell on him!'

'Even with the impact of global warming I think Timmy would be safe enough with factor 95'

'I kept my head down like the pro suggested and a golf cart ran over me.'