Accident Prevention Pillows

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

Caution: slippery surface.

'The money we're saved on gas paid for Jim's leg when he tripped over the cord.'

"It's the first responders wondering when you'll be needing their services this weekend..."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Please Drove Carefully.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Touring Cyclist

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

No need to be concerned, madam! I'm wrapped in cotton wool!

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Caution: ironic literal proverb ahead (fork in the road)

'Your Grounded!'

Computer Controlled Car

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

Bedroom Traffic Control

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

One Way - Yield

'This is your lucky day!'

'Here are the safety manuals you wanted'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Fred, didn't I tell you to wear a helmet?'

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Attention: Speed Troughs

'The new intelligent dummies aren't working out. They've figured out there's a break!'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'Mom's always telling me to look both ways, don't talk to strangers, and change my passwords.'

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'