Accident Investigator Gifts

'It just came out of NOWHERE!!'

"There's been a downward trend since Steve started."

'I need the welder to fix the guard on that pump.'

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"True crime meets reality TV"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to our new 'health and safety' officer.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

"Grandma! What big medical bills you have!"

'By the looks of these skid marks, Humpty didn't fall- he was pushed!'

Newton's Law and Order.

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

Bribery and Corruption.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

'It's the same EVERY year... 5 minutes to midnight; victims are all male, and they're carrying large sums of money.'

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"These insurance papers you gave us are for an '86 Buick."

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."

'We suspect death by Sunday supplement.'

"The sweet smell of the leaves and the rain make fall such a refreshing time!"

"Looks like he's been salted, Sarge.2

Sewee-Cide.

CSI Fridays

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

Sistine murder

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)