Acceptance Into A Private School Pillows

Mum and Dad had a hell of a job getting me into this school.

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

The MBA Draft

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

Yummy Mummies

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I'd delighted your son wants to be a surgeon.. but that no reason to let let him practice on you."

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

Scenes we'd most like to see...

'Cat Lit. You?'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'Good news Mom. I was accepted to the college of your choice.'

'It's a private school. Can't say which one, it's private.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'...All profits are local.'

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

You can tell which seniors got accepted early admission! West Fester High School.

'He's researching out-of-state kindergartens.'

I got into the college everyone wants to go to! Well played. It's the perfect fit for me! Way to go! Eco-Club. Which one is it? Dunno. Why do you care? So I don't apply there!

Popular college book: How to say 'Send money' in 101 languages.

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."