Accent Analyst Gifts

"Please stay on the line while we try to locate someone in tech support whose accent you'll understand."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Say 'eh.'"

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'The usual ‘nod, nod, wink, wink' will do, Walter. We don't need the eyebrow twitch and nostril flares.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

"A haand gel...!?"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

Body Language - "Guess why I'm annoyed."

Latest Aye Phone

"This quarterly report is terrible. The only way we can make this sound better is if we read it in an English accent."

"Listen to you ... you've already lost your accent ... "

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean

'He can toot his own horn but when he starts tooting the government's we need to step in.'

"I detect an accent – money?"

"'Cheers'? 'Lorry'? 'Jumper'? You can talk, boy? And you're British??"

Man picking up an H for a lady who drops her Hs

You say genetically modified po-tay-to. I say genetically modified po-tah-to.

Meanwhile in Yorkshire

Welcome to California. You may begin your Schwarzenegger imitation now

'Do you want me to serve you with a French accent or in just plain English?'

'You must be the angel of the north.'

"I know it's a foreign book...but I'm reading it with a local accent."

"Nope, Jeb's my pardner. My partner is Zeke."

"What if I tried again with an English accent?"

'Quaint Ye Olde Diner,' with a sign 'Mom's home cooked meal, $3.50, Colloquial Native Chatter $1.00 extra.'

Sorry I thought you were British – I'm just terrible with accents.

"The British say the word ‘privacy’ funny! The British say the word ‘privacy’ funny!"

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

Newcastle United: 'Can you have Mr Souness's Geordie inerpreter sent into the boardroom.'

"Sure I can help him: I specialize in pirate-talk..."

Cow Moos With A Jersey Accent

Motion denied. Your lips say "motion denied," but your eyes say "approach the bench."

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."