Academic Year Start Gifts

"Have you given any thought at all about where you might like to accrue your student loan debt?"

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

'I'm supposed to take a geography test and I can't find the right room!'

Evil Exams!

'An essay on what I did last summer? -- I was hoping to let all that stuff blow over.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"It's going to be one of those days."

'You have failed on all counts...'

I love PE.

"Finally...school starts next week."

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

'Take it easy, the textbooks will be here. It's only August 30.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'Well, when you mess up on the job, you know where you stand with me.'

"Ah, bless. His first day at school."

'Good, bad dog!'

'I spent my summer vacation NOT doing boring writing assignments.'

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

The Month of August

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

The First Day Back

Welcome back students.

'I called you in to talk to you about your son not being able to sit still.'

Starving Philosophy student grappling with the question of the toast in the machine.

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

Back to School: 'Thanks for reminding me!'

School Days

Multiplication. This "multiplication table" thing, has it been peer reviewed?