Academic Pursuits Gifts

A person reading an advanced book, standing on the pile of other books that he's had to read in order to become knowledgable enough to reach/read it.

The Mnemonic Plague.

Burning the midnight oil.

We realise you do better on your I.Q. tests than you do in anything else, but you just cannot major in I.Q.

Intellectual Property

There are two schools of thought. But they are spelled differently. And one of them is wrong.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Center for the Study of Being and Nothingness. Phase one: 'Nothingness'.

"Finally...school starts next week."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

Math Lounge

When English majors become waiters.

"Just think, your student loan may outlive you."

Toni Morrison

Philosopher Crossing

'He may be a brilliant academician, but he's even dumber than the rest of us when he tries to do anything practical around the house.'

'In my book an intellectual is someone who's found something more interesting than sex to think about!'

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

'Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.'

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

Dept of Egyptology - Toot and Come In.

"What are we gonna tell the grant committee, professor? We've spent all the money and we still don't understand women."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'Let's get down to basics. What's the outlook for think tanks in the next century?'

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"He's very smart. We just need to work on his focus."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.