Educational Pursuits Gifts

Conspiracy theories

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

I will study my speling words...

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Apples for sale

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

My book report is based on the audio book of the same name.

U of Debt

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

How to deliver a successful presentation.

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

Lessons in Prehistory.

Agility God

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

Paul Ree

'Recalculating...recalculating...'

"I guess it took a pandemic to make me realize school is better than trying to learn stuff online."

'A depressing thought just came over me. Now we'll have to go out and get a job!'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

'For an explanation of the financial terms of this loan, please enroll in a continuing-education economics class at your local community college.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Think Tank

A Preschool of Fish

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."