Academic Philosopher Pillows

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"There it is, son, your four years at Princeton."

Hee Hawley: The Yale Yokel.

"We're not too concerned about him not graduating. We've only made it to tenth grade so we're already proud."

"At least I'm learning right from wrong."

"In my class, I'm not interested in grades. I'm interested in you becoming a better person!"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Thinking Gears

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Humans...What is their purpose?

Ban on Free Speech

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"Feel free to take notes."

Historical memory is on life support.

The Googler

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."