Academic Graduation Gifts

''Et cetera' implies that you know much more than you really do. . .'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

'Hmph. College kids.'

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Eternal Student.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

Pretty Flowers

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Reach for the Star.

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."