Academic Evaluation Gifts

Grading Guidelines.

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Eternal Student.

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Pretty Flowers

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

"Is it that bad?"

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"Meet the scribe"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'

Punctuation Police