Academic Avenger Gifts

'I appreciate how you feel, but I'm afraid your report card isn't grounds for defamation of character.

"I guess the point I'm trying to make is, calling the committee on Progress and Evolution a bunch of know-it-all nincompoops might have felt good when you said it, but..."

'Quit trying to steal my intellectual property.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

"A student skipped a model U.N. meeting – now he's claiming diplomatic immunity."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'He's not as studious as he looks - his backpack is full of comic books.'

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

Scarcity

'You need an education or you will wind up in some fast food place.'

'This has been a drill. Had this been an actual test you would have been instructed...'

"Miss Rogers told me I have a personal 'cloud' to store knowledge in."

"So, what's gonna be your favorite class?"

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

School. Report Card. You couldn't name the presidents and flunked history? Yeah -- It's not what you know, it's who you know.

'What's play?'

Exam

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'I really crammed last night.'

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."