Academic Anarchist Gifts

Bonfire of the Paperwork

"It's true that I'm overdrawn but the bribes for improving coursework marks are coming in now!"

Ethics exam cheater.

Flags

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

'If you're so smart, why don't you have some Index Funds in your portfolio?'

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

"Today I came across antiderenuclearizationalityness."

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

Privacy - Surveillance

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

Joe's Bar: Not Responsible For Lost or Stolen Intellectual Property.

"Ted doesn't test well."

Gold versus Knowledge

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'Oxford, Cambridge, Redbrick, Poly . . .'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

Too much homework: kid with two backpacks.

Newton's vacation

Examiners.

'There always seems to be ONE trouble-maker in the company who gets a sick thrill from rebelling against our corporate culture!'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

'Nah, the circus ain't what it used to be. It's got all fancy and hard since Circ de Something started.'

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

SEMINAR CANCELLED: Feel free to doodle.

"Archaeologists discovered several enormous ancient cities buried under the jungles of Cambodia. That means the Khmer civilization was the largest empire on Earth from the 9th to the 12th centuries. That changes everything about our conception of the Middle Ages. What was your conception of the Middle Ages? Well... it was... well, knights, maidens, dragons... mostly dragons. And elves."

Vladimir Putin 101: Saying the Opposite of What You Mean