Academia Rebel Gifts

Dr. Shepard finds the Harvard Faculty Club cool to his lunch pyjamas.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Eternal Student.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Continuing education.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Now showing, at a University near you...

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

Calculation Board - You Are Here

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'Simply put.'

Genius Envy

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'