Academia Discusser Gifts

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Eternal Student.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

'It's all original research. I had no assistance when I looked it up on Wikipedia.'

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Continuing education.

Professor Wiles grows insufferable.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Now showing, at a University near you...

Calculation Board - You Are Here

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

'Simply put.'

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

Genius Envy

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."