Academia Discusser T-Shirts

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Eternal Student.

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

Continuing education.

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Ah, ha! The universe IS expanding! I can't find my glasses anywhere!"

Now showing, at a University near you...

Calculation Board - You Are Here

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

'I trust these equations settle the argument, Professor Lang. It's your round.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

'Simply put.'

"I understand the revisionists are hot on your trail, Professor Delauney."

Genius Envy

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"