Absurdist At The Service Desk Pillows

"Nihilistic customer service"

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'Could you ask him where he left the remote?'

'If you want to hear the ocean, press one.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

Crashed Aliens - "Miss Fortnum, come in here immediately..and bring the first aid kit."

Modern Art 'D Hirst' and 'A Nutter'

Executioner forgetting his glasses.

'Would you like a room on the sunny side, sir? Haha, just kidding!'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

"If you are a Pulitzer-prize winner, press 1. All others, please press 2."

"I'll be back in an hour—do not play with the weapons."

'We try to only make bad loans to good people.'

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

"I must be getting on tech-support's nerves, because they now answer by saying, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT NOW?!"

"I ordered my steak rare - and this is well done...!"

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

Paul Verlaine

"It's good luck."

'Tellers laughing ' 'Can I have my statement?'

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"If your internet doesn't work, please check our online help chat...if your internet doesn't work..."

'You are through to 24/7 support...our helpline times are between 8am and 7pm.'

"But the good news is that if you get a life threatening illness...then you'd get a decent payout."

"I don't know why they call you a waiter... I'm the one that's been doing all the waiting!"

Wave to the Goldfish!

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

'Waiter, there's a tar ball in my soup.'