Absurd Moment Appreciator Gifts

"O.K., I'll talk."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Showbiz Awards

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Giant ape juggling planes and captive.

Barcode Dreams

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Good news. It's a small pig."

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

"And once you've achieved your 25% improvement in client satisfaction surveys, we need you to solve the problem of global warming,third world poverty and cold toast."

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

"And the Hungriest Black Hole there ever was ate everything in the entire universe and lived happily ever after."

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

The missiles had failed...so it was down to Frank...and plan B.

"From this you make a living?"

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

Golf Hole at bottom of lake.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.