Absurd Humorists T-Shirts

Giant Visitor

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Pastry Hat

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Monster Clown

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Chick Billiard Ball

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

"Can you suggest a nice Bordeaux that will complement the squirrel-infused manure?"

'General, You look pale this morning...' - 'I had a nightmare Admiral! I dreamed the war began!'

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'

Bizarre sights.

Born Cynical,,,,

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.