Absurd Humor T-Shirts

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

The kitchen at night.

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Murder in Apartment 6-K

Pastry Hat

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Boomerang cow.

'I'm afraid I'll fall and no one will hear me.'

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Monster Clown

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

Franz Kafka

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Notice the nice safety feature...crash-proof bumpers!'

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

Chick Billiard Ball

"I'm used to embellished resumes, but claiming you can herd cats is a bit far fetched..."

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

Stale Ostrich Egg Throwers

"He wants to know if you can move your seat up."

Surreal war artist.

Penguin's Catch

"Sign here, initial here, rassle Zeke for the keys and you're all set."

New From Why? Books

'Heel! HEEL! Bad potato!'