Abc Burper Aficionado Pillows

"I can't believe how COMPETITIVE the job market has gotten. The company I interviewed at today already has 16 employees who can burp the ABCs!"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Remember, she had twins, so I go in first, and then you follow about 3 minutes later."

'Looks like no Christmas bonus this year.'

Man opens refrigerator which promptly burps.

"There has been a sharp increase in his cantankerousness."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

'Just wait until I'm introduced to carbonated beverages!'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

Grumpy old merry men.

"Don't worry, he's improving. We'll have him up and cursing the government again."

'I swear I didn't know you'd heard that joke before...'

"When I agreed to learn the ABC's, I thought D through Z would be optional."

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

'Self-help books for cynics'

Urp! Homo Eructus.

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

Students singing 'Now we know our A-B-Os'

Wife about mad man leaving church: 'You'll have to excuse my husband. He always wakes up grumpy.'

'No fish, but Junior made his first burp word.'

"Everything okay, Wilson?"

'My mom said someday I'll grow up and go to college!' 'My mom can burp the alphabet. She learned how in college!'

'Your dad can't go on there-the miserable git hasn't got any friends to phone!'

'Let's telecast the games free and make the fights pay-per-view.'

"Do you sell backup cameras?"