50+ Club Champion Gifts

Volunteer Bureau: 'I want to help people who are older than myself...'

Businesswoman Empowerment

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"What old school? This is my life."

Dancing at the Clubs.

'Not that slowly back...'

First Prize!

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"Too much club."

Brownie Points

'I can't remember. Edith, am I forgetful?'

The Basic Blueprint for 99% of Today's Conversations (or So it Seems)

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

"You don't need English on every shot."

'Your Honor, my client pleads not guilt to the charge of sexual harassment by reason of a testosterone surge.'

'Please! Take these and let my buddy go!!'

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

Rex grits his teeth, puts on his big boy pantaloons and gears up for the day ahead.

'I would say that we have unearthed ancient hunting weapons.'

The five stages of laundry 1. Denial I'll do it tomorrow. 2. Anger Why are there no clean clothes!? 3. Bargaining Ok! Who wants to help with the laundry? 4. Depression Can't. Do. It. 5. Acceptance

'And let me assure you that no matter what side you are on, I'm on it with you.'

"You only started bringing me home from the Darby and Joan club because I had a stair life and you couldn't manage stairs any more."

'Are there any further nominations?'

"I'm not actually 40 this year but that's the birthday I celebrate every year."

Statue of a housewife.

"Well -- You're over 30 so you probably just slept on it wrong."

'Oh what's the use? You don't know the course.'

'At the Old Players' Home. . .

'Forget the water, give me some golf clubs. I haven't swung a club in days.'

Welcome to Fairway...the town with 536 holes of golf!'

"I'd like to take it for a test drive."

I find it hard to believe you were a Dog-Show winner when we met...

'I told you a five iron was too much club, man! You're lucky you hit the pin!'