Zoom Meeting Strategist Pillows

"We need to talk about your Zoom presence,

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

"Teleconferencing makes it just like they're in the room with us - things are unclear and difficult to understand."

Covid and Restarting School

'It makes conferences so much cheaper, no travel costs and we only need to buy our own drinks!'

"Go ahead—unmute yourself."

Dog Park Zoom

"Sorry I'm late, boss...I forgot about today's video meeting!"

'To address this mistake we must use root-cause analysis. I'll begin by saying it's not my fault.'

'Uh, yeah, the picture resolution is great.'

"Dammit, Higgins, we don't need simple explanations, we need complicated excuses!"

'We'll also need to do a credit/blame analysis.'

"Do we want to tackle this head on, or just stun it with a glancing blow until Monday?"

"Hold my video conferencing calls, Gina."

Waiting for host to start the meeting.

"Camera not working."

"It's a dog-eat-dog economy. And I'm the Doberman."

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

"I'm up to my neck in something at the moment, can I give you a zoom call this afternoon."

"The reason they seem so small is because you have all 12,000 employees on your Zoom meeting."

"Tim hasn't felt comfortable coming back into the office but he has sent some of his thoughts."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'I feel totally connected now that I can order liquor and attend meetings on the internet.'

Fiction/Non-Fiction/Zoom Etiquette

"Wel...come...to...my...zoom...meet...ing..."

"Big promotion for you Khanna - from Data Scientist to Big Data Scientist."

This stuff fixes things at home, why not here?

"Oh, I'm okay. This is just my resting zoom face."

"Actually, turns out my entire life can take place at 10%."

'Did I put on pantyhose for this?'

"Working" from home

"Our coffee plantation is saved! Look! Now, for one meeting - ten pots of coffee!"