Zombie Apocalypse Planner Pillows

'Well, that's just great...zombies! There goes the neighbourhood!'

'These guys aren't playing by the rules!!!'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 11

"These new apps will REVOLUTIONISE the way clients interface with insurers...this one lets you take a photo inventory of all your insured items..."

'You think your son's is bad? You should see Jimmy's tomb. Clothes everywhere! Oh, Laura, it's not easy raising the dead.'

Zombie Fish

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

A sun opens its mouth to eat a burning Earth

Zombie Problems

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

The End is Nigh

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

"Can you estimate how much money you'll need for your mid-life crisis?"

Tsunami Evac Route

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February

"My next book? It will probably be about rising up and crushing humanity."

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

"It's a grave situation, Mrs. Conway. It appears to be an extremely aggressive form of flesh-eating lawyer."

There's been lots of unexplained shaking and booming noises in the middle of the night - all over the world. Some thing earth's entered a part of space filled with meteors too big to burn up in our atmosphere. Others think governments are building a network of underground bases to save a select few from a coming apocalypse. A lot of people think the world's about to end, Susan. If it were anyone but you, I'd thinking this was a pickup line. For the first time in my life, all my favorite shows go

Climate Change Contingency House

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"

The final days of hair coloring

'My backup special...'

'Darling, I told you not to call me at work.'

'The end is near.'

'If the Mayan calendar is right, how should I back up my files?'

"My cousin is lucky, he lives on the 14th floor. I'm sure he has a great view of the end of the world."

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

"The scariest part is knowing that someday something'll come along that will make us go, 'Even the spider mutants weren't this bad.' "

"Chief, I'd like a four-year sabbatical to prepare for the millennium."

Ok, I've set you up with an offshore back account, so you can hide your valuables for use after the oncoming apocalypse. You're too kind, sir. Where is it? Caymans? Switzerland? That's amateur stuff. The economy's increasingly global. When America goes down, it could take the Swiss and Cayman economies down with it. Then where – To open your account, I'll need your passport, tax returns, and a map of your genome. Bank of Deneb Prime. Trump turned me on to it.