Zen Zookeeper T-Shirts

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Dog yoga

Feeding of a giraffe with the use of a balloon.

ZOO

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Look, until there's a Tinder for pandas, we have to meet the old-fashioned way: being locked in a room together by scientists."

Wildcats Strike.

Giraffe Haircut

Bus for Giraffes.

Elephant Trunk and Hose Pipe.

Giraffe and Gloves.

'This is not what I expected when you said we were going to help an endangered species...'

"Building a ninja-attracting business culture is easy. Keeping them focused on equity-based financial analysis? Not so easy."

'Stop crying! Daddy wears BROWN shoes!'

'You're kinky, aren't you, Samuel?'

Two cleaners at the zoo. They are sheltering under a giraffe to get out of the rain.

"When do the kids go back to school?" "Oh, I don't know... 8 days, 16 hours and 47 minutes... or so."

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

'Now that's just low-down mean.'

'Don't' Feed the Animals' sign with a saw in it.

"After my arrest for trying to eat you, they put me in a captive breeding program."

'Will frolic in trees, or whatever it is we do, for food.'

'Hey, boys, I wouldn't tease the guerrillas - they will shoot.'

'Yeah, their website is called www.dazoosux.com.'

'Nothing worse than a tickly throat!'

'Just jam one of these pills as far down his throat as you can, 3 times a day.'

'The keepers will be in soon - we better get back to the straw and bamboo.'

"Don't worry, I never get the jokes either, but if you clap your flippers, he'll throw you a fish..."

Zoo Corporation: Award for Solving a Big Pile of Poo Problems

"My promotion case went through: I'll get two fish per trick now..."

'Careful, he bites.'

'They worry about their cholesterol, but they don't give a damn about ours!'