Zen Practitioner T-Shirts

'I don't have the heart to tell him that electric typewriters aren't REALLY the latest thing.'

'Well, you heard wrong -- Zen Buddhism doesn't have a Missouri Synod.'

'... Of course, once you actually achieve enlightenment, it all gets a bit boring.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

Zenemies.

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

Yoga with Baby

"I guess now's as good a time as any."

'Which would be more Zen ? a pizza with nothing, or a pizza with everything?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

"Show off."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

"She's been in shavasana for - like - a really long time...."

"Chop wood, carry water, walk dog."

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

"You emptied your mind already? That was quick."

"Hoarder."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'