Yuletide Historian Pillows

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Halloween may be a little different this year.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

Hoo Hoo Hoo Merry Christmas!

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

Father Christmas's Alternative Sleigh.

"When I was a kid? Well...me and your dad would just head out the back door and pick our tree!" "Wow! Grandpa owned a plastics factory!"

Christmas designs on cave wall

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

'... And I even made turpentine sauce.'

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

"Look! The name is Donder! Not Donner! It's Donder! Got it? Good!"

"December 25, 1776..."

'HA! Just as I thought! These are DAD'S fingerprints, not SANTA'S.'

"Three kings and we still can't get a room upgrade?"

Christmas Snob

Santa is not welcome amongst the Magi.

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'

3 Generations on the family tree

The Thanksgiving Pageant.

'Blackpool set to become Las Vegas of England.'

"He's hoping his nose can be used in a cake!"

'Do you mean 'naughty or nice' in the traditional sense, or the politically correct sense?'

"He's very busy. One 'Good King Wenceslas', and then about you go."

"And you can download a further selection of our songs at www.carolsingers.com..."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"