Yuletide Historian T-Shirts

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Old fashioned Christmas shopping

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"At the Christmas Artifacts Museum"

Hoo Hoo Hoo Merry Christmas!

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

Eskimo putting fake snow on his Christmas tree

'What's all this 'naughty or nice' jazz? ? Haven't you ever heard of situational ethics?'

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

T'was the night before the night before Christmas.

Father Christmas's Alternative Sleigh.

"When I was a kid? Well...me and your dad would just head out the back door and pick our tree!" "Wow! Grandpa owned a plastics factory!"

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

"Look! The name is Donder! Not Donner! It's Donder! Got it? Good!"

"I told you not to ask every b****r we met on the cruise to visit us when we got home!"

'... And I even made turpentine sauce.'

"December 25, 1776..."

"Three kings and we still can't get a room upgrade?"

Christmas Snob

Santa is not welcome amongst the Magi.

'I've been thinking about this whole Santa thing.'

The Thanksgiving Pageant.

'Blackpool set to become Las Vegas of England.'

"He's hoping his nose can be used in a cake!"

'Do you mean 'naughty or nice' in the traditional sense, or the politically correct sense?'

"He's very busy. One 'Good King Wenceslas', and then about you go."

"And you can download a further selection of our songs at www.carolsingers.com..."

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'