Yuletide Storyteller T-Shirts

Santa reads note: Sorry Santa no mince pie or sherry this year blame Farepak.

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Rude Snowpeople

Father Christmas Painting Robins.

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Filming Christmas

"Once upon a time there was a kind bank manager who found all the money lost in the global financial meltdown, brought world peace, stopped global warming, cured the common cold and discovered Julian Assange is Santa."

"I love this time of year."

A feminist Christmas.

Knight before Christmas

Papa, how come Rudolph has a red nose? Because he's a drunk, son. Plain and simple.

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Santa Claus writes a 'Yule Blog'.

Hoo Hoo Hoo Merry Christmas!

'While our cases were soaking up the sun over there we were soaking up the rain over here!'

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

"I'm the designated driver."

'... And with a little imagination, the workshop and reindeer stables could easily be converted into additional bedrooms.'

'The shepherds couldn't make it!'

"I'm playing Santa in the Christmas play. I need a pillow and eight tiny reindeer by Friday."

Boy Prays for a Full Stocking

'Why miniature reindeer? Why not a flying dog-sled team?'

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

"Obviously, because he had the best P.R. people he was the most famous reindeer of all."

How the little banjo boy became a drummer

Free Chimney Cleaning.

"Peace on earth. Goodwill to all men and who ordered the triple cheese with extra pepperoni?"

'I'm facing unemployment! The world is running out of nice kids!'

Christmas Tree Decorated with Books.

"We didn't see anything so special about the light in Greece. We have the same light in Tuckahoe."

Caterpillar and stockings.

'He says he's a friend of the Santa Claus.'