Youthful Reminiscer Gifts

'The little punks were waving a red flag at me! In my youth, I would have given them a run for their money!'

Ned thinks back to his youth.

'How do you like my two-tone car?'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

Rapunzel as a child.

Nation of Has-Beens (and Never-Will-Bes)

Paper Bombs

"He wouldn't have rolled over and over in agony on the bombed-out cinder pitches we had to play on!"

Boys happy playing and singing in the snow and ice

"I'm looking for a day care provider. . . besides TV."

"God, I was magnificent!"

"Someday we'll look back on these and-times and be really envious."

'Dad...why would I ever want to get out of the first grade? I love first grade!'

"When I was a child I spoke as a child... but when I became a man I put away childish things... except for my Cocoa Puffs... I still love Cocoa Puffs."

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

"O.K., now, when a teacher comes out, everybody look straight up."

Son, when I went to school, I trudged for years knee-deep in student loans!

Great gift ideas for the older man.

"Sorry, Michael, but no dodge balls past this point."

"So, according to law, we're basically hostages till we're 18."

'I'm part of the losing things generation.'

"Why not join a cult or something."

". . . I remember hair. . ."

'Don't let her charm you. When we were in the lunch room, I saw her eating veggies.'

"School is a lot like life. It's hours and hours of boredom...interrupted by the occasional moment of panic."

Trichinosis

"And here's one of you running with the guys in Pamplona."

"Remember how much fun we had as kids? Ah, but this morning was a long time ago."

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

SEX EDUCATION, 'Believe me, you don't WANT to know!'

I'm not interested in buying new technology. What's wrong with me? Don't worry. I went through a brief period in college where I wasn't attracted to women. I didn't want to date or even have flings. It was a dark, horrible abyss that felt like it would never, ever end! How is this helping? Red Maxim repeatedly until it passes.

'No, that's my photo above the caption: 'Student most likely to succeed'.'

'Harriet! I haven't seen you since we were kids. You remember my little brother Mitchell, don't you?'

"Look! That's where you threw your back out last fall."

"So whadda you think about my imaginary friend now?"