Youthful Philosophers T-Shirts

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"According to mom the answers are all in this book!" "Too bad there's no pictures at which to look!"

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

"One year closer to college!"

"Could I ask just one question?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I feel I've outgrown this facility, Mrs. Thompson. Could we see what else is around?"

Multi-Generational Books

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"If wisdom comes with age, what are we doing here at eight and a half?"

'Before we start, I'd like legal representation.'

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

'How much stuff can I get away with and still go to heaven?'

"I'm here for the hair."

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned subsidy of you and Mom?'

Philosopher trading cards.

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I'm not going to lie. It took a large speaker's fee to get me to say your future is bright."

"Nicole’s parents celebrated her curious mind, even in those moments when it really depressed them."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"Don't think of this birthday as you're getting older. Think of it as being one day closer to irritable bowel syndrome."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

Life after death

"Daddy, instead of the princess story tonight, can you explain how and why manifest destiny eliminated the American Indians?"

'All dogs have 4 legs. Tabby has 4 legs. But I'm just a kid, so I don't have to think logically.'

"I went back to warn them, but they already knew and didn't seem to care."

Young Galileo

Sex Education

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

"I know I'm going to get older - but how much?"

'He's into Proust as only a child can be.'