Youthful Innocence Pillows

'Isn't this marvelous? True love and we haven't lost our milk teeth yet!'

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

3 cents glass - Exact change please, seller can't count.

"If they do let anyone go I don't think age will be a consideration. You shouldn't kill yourself trying to look younger than you are."

"You used to be a lot more fun."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"I'm thinking about letting myself get old."

'I don't think re-living your childhood means you can go apple scrumping in next doors garden.'

"Botox."

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

"Miriam keeps me young."

"The next one is a hard-rockin', kick-ass, take-no-prisoners tune we wrote about turning sixty."

"He may be 90 but he's got the body of an 85 year old."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Sometimes Doris wished that Charlie hadn't stayed so young at heart

Child Brings Teddy Bear to Vet

'If I promise to be good for the next 30 years, can I have some sweets Dad?'

Active pensioner.

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

"I need you to line up by attention span."

Biblical Teenager

'People say I don't listen to other's opinions. That's not true, is it Binky?'

Lemonade/Prune-aid

Too young to be a grandma

'Dad, what were you like when you weren't a kid?'

The Ageing Process.

Hit Me

'I want to go into farming,sir the idea of sowing wild oats sounds fascinating!'

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

"He said he's doing all he can to help me, but he can't make me any younger. But I have no interest in getting younger! I just don't want to keep getting older."

"I don't know about a playdate, why don't we just meet up for some juice boxes and see how it goes?"

"I was about your age when I, too, started having security concerns."

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

"Are you going to have a baby too, Uncle Fred?"