Youth Pursuer Pillows

The face lift...

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'Howard's doing things he's always wanted to with his redundancy money.'

"Can he call you back? He and his mid-life crisis are celebrating their tenth anniversary."

"Once more, with fury."

Wally's dye job...makes his hair look 25 years younger.

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

"Can you give me something that will send me back to 1969?"

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

"I've looked at their viewer profiles and if we watch this channel we'll be 20 years younger."

Have you heard that time is not a constant, Randy? Of course, little buddy It's called "time dilation." Time moves slower for objects in motion than it does for objects that sit still. I'm a prime example. I haven't aged a day in decades. I still have rippling muscles, a smooth pelt, glistening teeth, twinkling eyes, a raging libido, and the boundless confidence of youth ... all because I'm always on the move. I'm writing a study on it for the Journal of Temporal Hotness. I've been meaning to as

When I make it, I like to see it.

"I want someone I can grow old and have plastic surgery with."

"By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it."

'If I don't like it, I rearrange your face.'

'Bragging at the Old Physicists' & Old Writers' Home.'

"I can check again, but I'm pretty sure no one has handed in your lost youth."

"Everest summit 1 km merge left"

'Take ten years off the top.'

'Oh grow up !' (Child annoying old couple drinking from fountain of youth).

"Professor Case, your longevity studies are just awesome."

Please use next mountain.

Mountain climber reaches summit and finds sign which reads: No ball games.

"I heard raising your grandkids can help keep you young. Please tell me there's an easier way."

"I was pushing fifty and then it sneaked up behind me."

Lots of People Would Consider Me Young...if they were alive today.

"That anti-aging cream worked wonders."

The Fledging Author Struggles To Find His Voice. . .