Youth Group Coordinator Pillows

'Put it back and go and collect some proper firewood!'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Barack Obama's To Do list.

'Well, Scout Smith, escort the little old lay across the street.'

'When will I be old enough to have my own people?'

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

"Remember, we're the next generation so try not to blow it."

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

Table tennis.

Regardless children just want to fit in.

'None of the other things had instructions.'

Turn Down For What.

Maypole

"I'm hanging tough, guys, but have I mentioned how much I resent you for always making me hold the table?"

Teens.

'The pastor is the one who tells all the kids to be quiet and sit down.'

When a teen finds out his parents are volunteering in the youth group.

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

"I'm class president. I need a really big airplane."

What's this about? The recession is devastating chain stores. Save our mall. They're the lifeblood of teen culture as we know it. What are your solutions? We're having a massive shop-in this Saturday! Shop 'til you drop. Big $$. Like a day of service? Exactly! But you'll feel even better about yourself.

"I downloaded the Laugh Track app yo soften mom when I give her my lame excuse."

Courting The Youth Vote

"As long as I cut out eating and sleeping, I should be able to get you guys to all of your after-school activities."

"My salary market survey reveals that the Nelsons pay two dollars an hour more than you, and their kids are much easier to babysit."

"Okay, Max, your dad is the commissioner, you're at first base. Harry, your parents donated 5 grand to fix the snack bar, you're at shortstop. . ."

"You are polling very well with the highly motivated 18 to 26 year olds who never vote."

'In the off-season I generally do some hunting and fishing, help out in my father's auto showroom, have knee surgery, and work out in my hometown youth center.'

'I shouldn't worry - soon he'll meet someone who'll give him a good hiding and then he'll get the message. . .'

"The hardest thing about being a youth pastor is keeping my sermons to 140 characters or less."

I'm biking through Tuscany, learning Italian this summer. Wow! I'm off to drama camp. How about you, Twig? I haven't decided which summer enrichment program to choose! Working for my dad or babysitting the Bartram kids. Ahh! The college fund enrichment program.

Pastor Dennis began to wonder if the caving trip was really the best way to bond with their Boy Scout Troop...

'...Because of his size, we want to give him time to develop.'

'For heaven's sake, couldn't you have spelled it out?'