Young Stock Trader Gifts

"My school day was mixed. Big gains in history class, English was flat, math declined by a quarter-grade, and I took a pounding at recess."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'But Dad, all the other kids get a roth IRA as part of their allowance package.'

SALE

Lemonade Inc.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economy - USA.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Apparently, when the tide came in, a lot of castles went bust."

"May I skip the usual Show & Tell and try to hustle some merch?"

MUM! No one wanted to buy my cowpats

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

"If it's all the same to you, I'd like my allowance in bitcoins."

"I'll go to my room and do my homework, but I want time and a half."

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Superstock'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"So much for password protected."

'I want to chuck all the spelling and math and just get back to playing with blocks.'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Chinese stock market

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'Wow! School's only been out for ten minutes, and I've already forgotten everything I learned.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"Sales are up 38% since the name change."

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

'I've crunched the numbers and you can afford to increase my allowance by 15.5%.'