Young Mothers T-Shirts

'I got that one in Magaluf, that one in San Antonio and this one in Ayia Napa.'

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

Chez Nous Menu

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

1847 - Bram Stoker, creator of Dracula was born in Dublin.

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

Whoa

Mother Nature

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"When I was young my parents couldn't afford to give me too much, too soon."

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

Fitness Programme for babies

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"Use your inside scream."

"He looks just like your husband."

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"Congratulations. The ultrasound shows the baby is healthy, a boy and already knows more about technology than you."