Young Mom Life Enthusiast Pillows

"I'd love to be a stay at home mum, but I'll get into so much trouble if I miss any more school."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Reach for the Star.

'Everything I say to you goes in one ear and out the other.'

"I'm so good at this!"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

"Use your inside scream."

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

'Hi Dad. I want you to meet Mr. Hacketal, my attorney.'

Open other end

'If your boss is so dumb, daddy, why did he hire you?'

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"I read the audio book."

'I think it may be a limited edition.'

'Oops! It says administer at bedtime. Guess that makes it bedtime.'

'Life is a precious thing, but simply breathing and existing isn't living...the end is inevitable for everything...I'm afraid that time has come for you, dear. I have to pull the plug...'

A Mom's Purse

'Hmmphhhh ... High on Life. Now that's something the government ought to regulate.'

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

"I've decided to have a kid."

"You'll find they stay pretty needy 'til about 300 months."

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

"I suppose your mother and I should have said something earlier, but it never seemed like the right time to talk about your adoption."

'I don't like that one. . . how about the one with the cute smile.'

The best time capsules are our children.

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

Child on a schedule.

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'I'm old, bald and fat, but at least I'm not boring!'

'Mom, I cleaned my room like you told me.'

Pelvis birth canal exit: Width restrictions apply.

"Michael, I think I found your bubble gum."

"How long before I have a dad body?"