Young Football Fan Gifts

"My mom won't let me play football...she says it's too dangerous and violent."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"I AM at my usual position."

Football Chameleon

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

"Uptight End"

"Wanna toss the ol' virtual pigskin?"

"Gracie, I'm proud of you. Your team lost, but you tried your best and that's all that counts."

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

Archaeologists discover a football

'David when we said we would like you to be a role model for us. . .'

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

'Now what?!'

'Well it's too bad you're not a black widow like me, Slyvia...'

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Touchdown!'

'No we didn't get high definition TV - the wife dusted the screen.'

A well-known poet lives on this street. Building Supplies. I just need one. She authored a prize-winning screenplay. That offensive lineman is a novelist. My journalist friend is rejecting calls from my number. It's frustrating. I just can't escape writer's block.

Red Card - Gold Card.

Referee cop.

"Go deep!"

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

Yoga. My goal in yoga is the same as the goal of defensive football players. Bend but don't break.

'And if the scores remain level, you can text the name of the team you want to keep in the tournament.'

'Bad boy! Drop the quarterback! Drop him! Drop!!'

"You say that I love the Liverpool football team more than I love you?...."

Football Violence

The most probable explanation to the mind of a sixteen year old tennis star

Sports Medicine.